I left a very cushy, high paying job at a rising company to pursue my dreams.
Remember when I was struggling with something that seemed impossible to overcome? It was my job. I was terrified to leave (hello, I had only been there a few months compared to 9 years at my old place!) but I knew something had to change.
I did my best to ignore the pulling feeling and settled in for the long haul. It wasn’t even a few months later before the suffocating feeling came back. It was a fantastic job–they fed me everyday–the benefits were great and the paycheck allowed me to do pretty much anything I wanted. Yet. The literal feeling of not being able to breathe would come when my kids would beg me to chaperone a trip and I had to tell them that mommy didn’t have anymore “days”. Or when a once in a lifetime blogging opportunity comes up and you have to say no because you don’t want to be penalized later in the year by your job for taking so many days off.
I started saving all of my blogging income. Every dime. The funds kept growing and the opportunities started multiplying. I didn’t know what the plan was but I kept going with it.
My grandmother died in April. I was sitting in the funeral listening to my mom struggle through her obituary. She mentioned that one of the happiest days of my grandmother’s life was when she retired from her back breaking job of being a room attendant at a hotel. It was at that moment when something shattered inside of me. I don’t want to spend my life waiting for my job to free me. I want to do something that I love. This blog is my third child and it brings me so much joy. The new experiences, the event coverage, the complete freedom of creativity. Blogging allows me to wake up with a new canvas to paint on everyday.
I was spending 12 hours a day between traveling and the actual workday–6:30 am to 6:30pm working and commuting. Then I come home and work for HOURS on the blog–because I love it.
Something had to give.
My husband noticed how discouraged I was coming home everyday. I was miserable. I was tired of seeing my kids for 90 minutes a day. Tired of asking my mom what’s going on with my own children. Tired of feeling so much pressure to be a perfect employee when even I knew it was impossible. I couldn’t stay late to finish projects, but everyone else could.
So the hubby and I had many, many, many conversations about HOW I could leave my job and have us not end up homeless since my paycheck is responsible for our Brooklyn mortgage. Like epic conversations–ones that ended in pure raw excitement and ones that ended in tears of absolute fear. I was still saving money. We decided that if I could save 6 months mortgage, I could quit. We shook on it.
I was listening to The Friend Zone Podcast (one of my FAVORITE podcasts in the world) and one of the hosts Fran, talked about how getting fired was one of the best things that ever happened to her. Even though it was a complete shock and she was severely embarrassed, it opened a ton of doors for her.
“Sometimes if you don’t pay attention to the alert system, it will just get louder and louder until something happens with bad consequences. If something doesn’t feel right your best bet is to let it go as soon as you can” Fran, TheFriendZone Podcast
The universe heard me loud and clear and just like that magic started happening. We got a tax refund about 4x what we thought it would be. I got a notification from the state secretary that they had 2 (large!) checks for me from 2003. The contracts came rapid fire. The campaigns landed square in my inbox. My mom dropped off a generous check, unsolicited, just to support my dreams.
I now have a year+ of mortgage saved.
I plan to continue to pour my heart into this blog because that is where my joy is. There might be more commercials but there will always be a 80% non sponsored posts ratio here.
I have also decided to start a business! Last year, my mom asked for my help in creating a website and a Yelp page for her daycare. She instantly saw an uptick in business. I started researching local businesses in my area and was stunned to see that barely any of them have a social media presence. So I registered and incorporated BAM Digital Media LLC (still under construction!), which will be providing simple social media solutions for small businesses.
I am a CEO y’all.
Although I gave my job 3 weeks notice and I’ve known for another 2 months the last day was way harder than expected. Somehow my coworkers crawled up in my heart, took residence and became impossible to evict. It was emotional, for sure, but I am so happy that we crossed paths.
Now it’s time to work my entire ass off to build my business and expand the blog. It’s up to me now. For the first time in my life I will be creating my own way of living. It’s SO scary. Almost equally as exhilarating.
But most of all, it will be me.