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A Solo Date With My Eldest

by Nellie

The relationship I have with my first born son is hard to explain with words. Sometimes when I think about it, it takes my breath away, literally. No one gets me like he does, no one gets him like I do. His disability makes it hard for people to get to know him properly but once you do, you are all in.

Last week, I was informed that his class was attending the Metropolitan Opera and I was required to be there or he wouldn’t be able to attend. The first time I got one of these letters home, I was annoyed. After the second or third time, I was overjoyed. I got the opportunity to bond with him at a (usually) fun place. I could keep him calm when things got overwhelming. It’s a win/win situation really.

I showed up early on trip day and was informed that he was having an “off day”. They put us in a room and we got right to it playing connect four. I tried to teach him my winning tips from playing connect four A LOT when I was a kid but he wasn’t hearing it. So I beat him 5 times straight with no mercy.

The trip to the city was hot, loud and mostly uneventful. He sat to the side with his best friend and I sat adjacent to him in a seat by myself. The trip from his school took over 90 minutes. Why are school busses so awful?

We were late. The performance was an hour and we saw 40 minutes of it. The 40 minutes were worth it, it was all local schools performing beautifully done routines in one of the most iconic theaters in the world.

Since the show ended at 12, and we were in the middle of NYC I decided to ditch the bus (and school) and take him for a mother son date. With baby coming in November who knew when we would have this kind of chance again?

So we walked around Columbus Circle taking pictures, and enjoying each others company. He actually took some really great photos of me!

We ended up at Bareburger where we ate and chatted. I marveled at how big he was getting and how soon he would be slipping into his own. How hard I’ve been working with him, how hard he’s be trying. How he reached over for my hand across the table like a grown man and told me that he didn’t know how he got so lucky to have such an amazing mommy. These are the moments I never want to forget.

In the trenches, I hold on to these moments.

The relationship I have with my first born son is hard to explain with words. No one gets me like he does, no one gets him like I do. His disability makes it hard for people to get to know him properly but once you do, you are all in.Click to Tweet

When was the last time you had a solo date with one of your kids?

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6 comments

Allie June 4, 2018 - 6:34 am

This is so fantastic! I know exactly how you feel too…well, not exactly but the bond I have with one of my sons is incredible. We are so much alike and we just “get” each other. I also love how you turned your annoyance into a positive and took off for a day in the city, just the two of you. You are an amazing mom Nellie. I sincerely hope you know that! xoxoxo

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Janine Huldie June 4, 2018 - 6:54 am

Aw, looked like the perfect mother-son date to me. And just glad you got to take the time to spend some quality one-on-one time with you eldest 😉

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Denise June 4, 2018 - 2:49 pm

With only 1 kid it seems like we constantly havd solo dates when hubby isnt around. I relish in them because as he gets older i know my grip on him is loosening but i always hope he rememebers our dates. Your son is beautiful and will conquer his disability and the world in his own way. Love you guys!

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ktia June 4, 2018 - 3:19 pm

I’m trying to do them once a month for each child. I just had two with my son the other day that went well. He doesn’t like it but oh well. My daughter loves spending time with me as often as she can

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Tamara June 5, 2018 - 11:01 am

aww! Scarlet takes photos of me/for me too! And we try to have a solo date at least once a week. It’s not always easy. Des and I get those twice a week when Scarlet has after school track. The best!

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nicole June 11, 2018 - 11:36 pm

It sounds like you have a very special relationship with your eldest kiddo! So sweet. And PS – I love your dress!

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