On The Magic Of Grandmothers.

The Magic Of Grandmothers

With a very sad heart I have to share with you that I lost my grandmother last weekend.

It wasn’t a complete shock, we had been warned by doctors for days that the end was near. 3 weeks ago she caught an infection that made her already very sick body even sicker and unable to handle the multiple illnesses.

My grandma had been sick for a very, very long time. Almost 4 years. She was bedridden and my mom and aunt took care of her round the clock. Although there was so much mayhem in her body, she still had all her mental faculties so we would have conversations about what’s going on “outside” all the time. Every time I left her we exchanged I love yous and I would pray that somehow, someway she would get better.

My grandmother was so special. But aren’t they all? The grandmother magic is not something to be messed with. It is such a special bond that is so much a part of your soul.

My grandmother and I shared a similar bond to the ones my kids have with my mom. My grandmother cared for me while my mom was at work–walking me up and down the Brooklyn streets until her feet got tired. I slept in bed with her until I was 15 years old.

I had my own beautiful room, my own bed, my own TV and yet I went upstairs to sleep with her every single night. Calling her when she was out on the town like “What time you coming home because I need to go to sleep!!” Taking up half her bed because I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else, not even myself, just her.

When I got into my teens she taught me how to cook. I was excited about this because she cooked THE BEST dinners for me as a kid. So grateful for the cooking foundation she provided.

Also when I went through a really rough tween period she was there to protect me from my mom when she was about to lose her mind. She’d make sure I did my homework or that I was watching something appropriate on TV. She cared so deeply for me.

When I heard that she was gone it wasn’t a surprise, but it was almost as if a hole was ripped out of my heart simultaneously. I’ve been keeping busy with events, blogging, running, work–anything to temporarily close the gap. I am most aware when I am still.

Although the pain is raw, I’ve had so many people reach out in support. So many people to say hey–I’m here–do not do this by yourself. The truth is while I am devastated that she is not here with us anymore, I am relieved that she is also not suffering anymore too. As a Christian I believe that she is in heaven and I will see her and my grandpa again–and it will be so great.