Usually I’m not a birthday girl, like I’m not the type of person that forewarns people that my birthday is coming nor do I spend entire months celebrating my birthday. I never get mad at those who forget, or feel hurt if I don’t get a gift.
This is 34.
This birthday was significantly different however. So many things happened in 33. Things that were completed unexpected. Things that I didn’t even know could shake me swirled in and did just that. They broke me. And just like Humpty Dumpty I put myself together again. What I didn’t realize was that the new version of me was just that, new.
33 was hard on so many levels. I’ve never had to bury close family members–much less within six weeks of each other.
33 was scary because I knew I could no longer keep my happy AND work full time in the environment I was working in.
33 saw unknown courage. The brave that it took to quit my job was beyond what I ever knew could be possible. From a woman who vowed to never blog full time, here I was, taking a leap on myself. Starting my own business. Figuring it out. Making things happen. 33 I discovered so many new things but mostly resilience, confidence and belonging. I also learned how to quiet the naysayers.
33 also saw devastating heartbreak. The type that will have aftershocks for a long time into 34 and perhaps forever. The heartbreak elevated my friendships to the next level. Thankful for women that I can turn to, take to lunch, and hash things out. I’ve never had such a solid circle of women friends and I am so grateful for them. I hope one day I can be there for them in the same capacity.
Despite all of that, I am excited for 34. It’s the year where I’m starting to feel way more comfortable than ever in my own skin. Comfortable in my voice. Comfortable in my unique skill. Comfortable in my vast creativity. Comfortable in my likes and even more with my dislikes. People’s opinions are starting to matter less and less, and my internal voice is getting louder and louder.
34 is confident. It’s almost as if you start to see things a bit clearer with every year you grow older.
I am so thankful for 34.