Am I Being Too Sensitive?

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#igiggled

I totally had something else planned for today, but I had a little situation yesterday and I was curious about what you all thought about it, because your opinions matter to me.

I woke up yesterday morning not wanting to do anything. Like nothing at all. The preschooler went to bed past midnight and the baby got up and hour earlier than normal. This can’t be life. I dragged myself out of bed and before my feet even touched the ground outside of my house I had made up my mind about going to the gym.

tired

I wasn’t going. I had no motivation. As always, I still carried my gym clothes because maybe I would change my mind.

I am happy to say I did make it! I knew I couldn’t do a bootcamp or something that required a lot of concentration so I decided to jump on my favorite spin bike and just work really hard for 40 minutes. It was so good, it was delicious. It was what I needed to clear my mind and really press restart on the day. I felt AMAZING. I actually felt a lot like this:

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I ended my workout, went upstairs to change and the Group Fitness Manager approaches and asks me to come in his office and close the door.

WTH?!

He proceeds ask me if I like my trainer. I tell him I do. (I only see him once a month, because guess what, I don’t HAVE an extra $300 to pay someone ON TOP of my gym fee, sorry–no.) He then tells me that I NEED to upgrade to 4 times monthly to start seeing the results that he sees with his other clients…

Hmm.

After that he dissects my workout, telling me that I should not have spent 40 minutes on the bike–that I should be doing interval training and blah blah blah.  I knew all of that but today, I just wanted to spin. Spinning  to me is like what a daily 10k is for runners. Sometimes you need to do it to clear your head.

The whole time I’m looking at dude like:

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First of all, WHY are you watching me? Ease up! Second of all, I follow the circuit training regimen 3 times a week as assigned by my trainer. So whats the problem?

The more he spoke the more heated I got because basically he is telling me that after a month that I am not exactly where he would like me to be.

My first reaction was to tell him to kick rocks. Then I remembered my 6 month contract that I am now 1 month into. *facepalm*

THEN he went on to compare me to some other chick and the rest of my PT’s clients “that were making so much progress” had me wanting to FLIP the table.

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I didn’t however, I stayed quiet and let him speak his mind while I considered my options.

Maybe I was being too sensitive–maybe I should do circuit training everyday until all of the weight is gone. Hmm.

Maybe he is just an ass and I just need to keep it moving. Hmm.

One thing about me and weight loss, I do not like being pushed financially, I do not like being sold to, and I CERTAINLY do not like being compared to another person in a negative way. Since I gained 7 pounds, I have lost all of it AND THEN some. I have logged my food in MFP for 27 straight days. I am winning, not in his way, but in my own.

I am curious though, do you guys think that I am being too sensitive? Or do you think that I need to keep it moving and ignore him?? Be honest, I can take it.

 

Nellie

Nellie

Mommy. Fitness Addict. Socialite.
Schnelle "Nellie" Acevedo is a busy mom of two young boys (2 and 5), she is a career woman by day and a self proclaimed fitness junkie by night. Brooklyn Active Mama is  a positive community that focuses on demonstrating to all women that you can always find time for fitness. She features a Weekly Wednesday Workout and a Friday Fitness Check-in series where she encourages her readers to check in and remain accountable for their fitness and nutrition goals weekly. Nellie also is a co-founder of the annual A Healthy U Conference which is a conference dedicated to helping women improve their mental, spiritual and physical health. In addition to getting in the gym 5 times weekly, Nellie is a licensed Zumba instructor in Brooklyn. Since beginning to blog Nellie has lost 27lbs (and counting)! You can find Nellie on TwitterInstagramFacebookPinterest, & Google Plus.
Nellie
Nellie

Comments

  1. Oh you did good. Because he would have gotten the COMPLETE cuss out from me. Especially on a day I wasn’t feeling it? And especially since I knew I was doing it MY way!?!?oh you.did really good not to say anything. Especially when he compared you to someone rlse! Everyone’s weight loss journey is their own and he needs to respect that!
    Lashawn recently posted…Random Stream of Consciousness on a ThursdayMy Profile

    • exactly right, when he compared me to the next girl he crossed the line. The only thing I got out of this was a fire lit under my butt to prove him wrong!

  2. GAH!! I would have been infuriated–because it seems to me that his motivation for talking to you was not based on you or your progress but on his own monetary agenda. Obviously you are doing great and you are winning. That’s not even in question. Frankly someone just taking me aside to give me a sales pitch that is full of things meant to “motivate” me by bringing me down (and thus spending money to see the trainer more, etc) would have the opposite effect on me. That’s the kind of crap that is completely UNHELPFUL to someone who is trying to work on their fitness. It can even be damaging for certain people. I’d never buy another thing from them and wait for my contract to run out. He seems like a huckster. It would be different if you asked his opinion or if you were sitting down about to renew your contract and wanted his opinion on how many trainer sessions you should purchase. It would be different if he was your trainer and you were sitting down talking about the progress you had made in the last month. That is the time to evaluate what you have been doing and what kind of progress you are making—and YOU get to be the one that judges if you are happy with that progress and how rapidly it’s occurring…but what that guy did…ugh.

    I don’t think you’re too sensitive. I’m impressed you were able to stay calm, because I would have had a hard time doing that sitting there. :) –Lisa
    The Dose of Reality recently posted…Just Call Me Tony DanzaMy Profile

    • I agree with all of your points Lisa, it was all about the approach. But goodness it has only been four weeks!! He hasn’t measured me, weighted any of it. He is going on what he sees and apparently that wasn’t good enough for him. I really hope he doesn’t do this to someone else, no one should be bullied into purchasing more sessions! I mean really! Thank you for standing in my corner. :)

  3. That man needs to mind his business & he was out of line for approaching you. If he was so concerned he should have spoken to your trainwr who probably knows you a lot better and could have explained your progress, goals, ect.

    Girl….on one hand I’d say he was trying to shame you into more sessions…but on the other, he was just a jerk.

    You are not being too sensitive at all! That’s not a convo you have with someone you barely know. Weight loss is so personal.
    Kimberly recently posted…Journey to Wellness 11.6My Profile

    • that is exactly it Kimmy, weight loss is incredibly personal. How dare he imply that I am not as good as someone else. Well. if it did anything it lit a whole fire under my butt like none before to prove his silly ass wrong. (where was this a year ago? lol!)

  4. Oh HELL NO! I would never ever do that to a client and if one of my trainer’s did that? You’re fired! That is NOT motivating in any way what-so-ever. What was he thinking? If it’s all about the $$ then it sounds like the wrong plan for 90% of people trying to lose weight. I don’t think this guy has the first clue on how to motivate people or to retain clients. He’s an ass! I would be totally pissed if I were you. Hell I’m mad and I’m not you!! I’m sorry that happened. You certainly handled it very well so kudos to you for that.
    PS – I love when the President slow jams the news:-)
    Allie recently posted…Leg Blaster – Workout Video!My Profile

    • Thank you :) I am so disappointed in this dude too because he seemed so nice in the beginning and he really wanted my duckets…ugh.

  5. Not being too sensitive at all and I have to agree with the majority here and say it sounds like he is more concerned about the god almightily dollar then you and your well being. I am not a trainer by any means, but my very good friend has worked in gyms for years as a dietician and nutritionist and I know she would never talk to a client this way ever. So, I truly don’t think you are being too sensitive and think this guy just sounds like a real ass (in plain English)!
    Janine recently posted…A Good Pillow Makes All The Difference~Essentia Facebook $5000 ContestMy Profile

    • Yes, that is exactly what it is, he is an ass. And his intentions were not to motivate me it was to get in my pockets–good thing im not weak minded. not this girl!

  6. NOT AT ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL
    keep it so moving and **IGNORE**
    Miz recently posted…Im not supposed to write this post…My Profile

  7. Who paying this money? If I pay my money I want things done my way and what’s comfortable for me I would have cussed him out. I was just thinking about getting a personal trainer but you have given me the answer I need I will do things on my own and do what I can from blogs like this or from youtube I can’t and will not put up with it.
    Kita recently posted…Pinteresting WednesdayMy Profile

  8. That guy is a total ASS!!! You handled that situation far better than I would have because I would have had one of those knee-jerk reactions and quit the gym and demanded a refund.
    Any gym owner, manager, trainer (or any other person who thinks they have what it takes to work at a gym) should realize that exercise is very different for every single person and that comparing people is the absolute worst thing in the world and should NEVER be done!!!
    Kim recently posted…Memory – Can you Remember what you Forgot?My Profile

  9. BabyTeems
    Twitter:
    says:

    Not at all. I think he was just trying to guilt you into more sessions. How dare he compare you? That’s when he crossed the line,.
    BabyTeems recently posted…Link Up: Thought BubblesMy Profile

    • at that point is when I checked out Teems. I mean really? he gave me the girls whole life story too–cmon son her story is NOT my story!

  10. You are definitely not being too sensitive. That guy needs an attitude adjustment. People like him are a HUGE part of the reason I was so hesitant to join a gym. You were there working your toosh off for 40 minutes, and he tells you it’s not good enough? Whatever dude! You do what makes you happy and ignore the people trying to bring you down!
    Kristin recently posted…Five Things FridayMy Profile

  11. I don’t understand why he thought he had the right to say these things to you. I would certainly have been upset, Nellie. Like you, I may not have answered but it would not have been well received.
    Alison recently posted…Persecuted church: Following becomes costlyMy Profile

  12. You are so NOT being too sensitive. His sales tactic is obtrusive, rude, and insensitive. He had no right to talk to you like this at all because he watched you for one day. Not every day. And you are doing what your trainer said. And clearly then some. It makes me angry when trainers at gym think this is the way to make a sale.

    If it were me, I’d finish up my contract and then find a gym where people have some class. Or, if you are so inclined, politely tell him how horrible his tactics are and that you will finish out your contract but if he continues to treat you this way you will not be renewing. And, oh, yeah, you’re a well known blogger and does he really want to be on your sh*t list.
    Carla recently posted…Earning My Burn with #12WBTMy Profile

  13. I am so confused! Why TH is the group fitness manager worried about your training sessions! Anywho, money rules the gym owners & it is so grimey behind the scenes where I am that this is pretty much all I can muster for this post. Sorry you had to endure that!
    Joi recently posted…My 90-Day Challenge Goal Is…BOOM!!!My Profile

  14. I would be just as mad!!! Seriously???!!! He has some nerve! Getting myself heated up right now reading this. I hate it when people put their goals on you instead of asking what it is you need that day. You needed to do your workout in order to clear your mind. Sometimes, you just need to do what you have to do in order to clear your mind. I don’t think you were being sensitive, it just sounds like he wants more money.
    KalleyC recently posted…My Baby Turned 1My Profile

    • Right!! Putting his goals on me was completely necessary and his tactics were just wrong–I mean completely unnecessary. If I feel like I need another 40 minute spin–guess what i’m going to do it! bump him!

  15. Your group fitness manager was definitely out of line. The conversation about your training sessions should be between you and your trainer, and on your own time. He was completely inappropriate and I would file a complaint ASAP. If he’s having these conversations with you to make you uncomfortable, imagine how many other people he’s approaching. How rude.
    Angel Y. recently posted…Logo Inspiration: Saturday MorningMy Profile

    • Hi Angel, thank you for stopping by! That is really my fear, that he is doing this to other people and they are actually caving to his tactics.

  16. No, not too sensitive. AT ALL. It’s creepy, rude and unwarranted. You were just doing your thing and having a good time at it at that! It seems like some sort of money grab? Either way…I’d..I don’t know. Make my tall husband go in there and defend my honor. In his full Han Solo costume, complete with fake gun on holster.
    Tamara recently posted…The Truth Is, I’m Just Not Feeling It.My Profile

    • creepy is definitely the word T. Lol! can you please send him! if not only for the fake gun? that would be simply perfect.

  17. I cannot BELIEVE this happened to you. This is the height of unprofessionalism. As a personal trainer who used to work in a gym, I can tell you there is pressure from the managers to increase your clients’ training frequency. However, our managers would NEVER presume to speak to a client without the trainer’s consent…or actually for any reason, unless maybe the client abruptly quit sessions and they wanted to know what happened. I am so furious this happened to you! How dare he tell you something you were doing is “wrong”?? How is cardio wrong? How does he know why or what you were doing it for? And finally, HE COMPARED YOU TO OTHER PEOPLE?? Whaaaaaaat? That is so awful.

    In short, NO, you are not being too sensitive and I would complain to his boss about his behavior, if I was you.
    Carly recently posted…Working Out With Your Kids – On ‘Working (Out) Mama’ on The StirMy Profile

    • That is the part that had me so confused!! Like why isn’t my trainer present? Does he feel the same way? I literally saw him the day before. Its all about this image in HIS head not my trainers. Thank you for standing in my corner!

  18. WHAT THE WHAT!? Oh I would have flipped that table and then flipped him off. This is beyond not cool. What is he the principle and you were a naughty student!? I am outraged right now! This is inappropriate on so many levels. Who is this guy? I will go down there and give him a piece of my mind! This is purely financial for him and what is worse he is trying to SHAME you to make more $$! This is not what the health and fitness industry is about and I am so embarrassed for this guy! What did you say to him?? Ugh.

    You should be proud of yourself for going to the gym after having a crappy night. You could have just stretched or foam rolled and I would have said the same thing. You made the effort, that’s what is important and health is a marathon, not a sprint. Every single thing counts. You know that woman who posted that photo of herself looking incredibly ripped with her kids and asked “What’s your excuse?” Maria Kang or something. You are her, every single day! I am seriously impressed at how much you accomplish! More people should be as dedicated as you are.
    FitBritt recently posted…Getting in Some Serious Cardio at Home with Fusion FitnessMy Profile

    • Oh Britt, thank you so much for comparing me to Maria Kang, I try my best every day. I don’t know why he felt like he could say those things to me but he did. Thank you for your kind words! they mean a lot to me!

  19. Ok so my hubby has worked in the fitness industry for years and he was in it for most of our marriage so far until he got out of it about almost a year ago now and thank God! It was time! We both knew it! I’ve heard many stories about things they do (personal trainers and salesman) to make money and to upgrade clients on different packages, etc, but this is ridiculous! You are not being too sensitive at all! Why was he looking at what you were doing? Why couldn’t he talk to you about you and just express a generic concern for you meeting your goals. I think that would have been received a lot better, if he were really cocnerned, but it sounds like to me that he was just about making money. Anyone in their right mind is not going to compare one client who is losing weight to another. That’s like comparing one pregnant woman to another. He’s insane! You are definitely not being too sensitive. He was out of line.
    Brittnei recently posted…Hope Is Where My Heart Is…My Profile

    • Yes you are right, he IS insane! I haven’t seen him since and I sure hope I don’t anytime soon. Your hubby was right to get out of the fitness industry it can be so cut throat!

  20. GURL!!! You are a way better person than I am … that’s all I have to say about that!

    That guy deserves a hard punch in the gut. Who does he think he is? He had no right to compare you to anyone … he knows better than that. I wish you had given him a piece of your mind but I respect that you kept your cool. But no you are not being sensitive AT ALL!

    • He really didn’t have a right to compare me! Afterwards, I wanted to go back and hurt him but then I realized that he is just a desperate jerk in need of sales so he thought to “prey” on me–but clearly he was talking to the wrong one.

  21. Oh my! I would’ve totally had to unleash on him AND contact HR. Who knows what personal struggle/challenge someone is going through to make assumptions about their progress or maybe they just have their own set of goals. HELLO?! I hate the salesy side of gyms especially and loved the super supportive, all-women’s gym spa-like gym I used to frequent in Boston before moving to NYC. I haven’t found anything like it here. Definitely make a formal complaint girlfriend!
    Quiana recently posted…Safe Surrender in My CommunityMy Profile

    • He was just a jerk that is clearly having trouble making his goals–and he was looking forward to making me his bank. I think not.

  22. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMGGGGGG! I WOULD HAVE RIPPED HIS NUTS OFF AND FED THEM TO HIM! Too graphic? LOL! But seriously. WHAT ON EARTH. This guy has some major balls (which you should have ripped off and fed him, lol) to say all of this to you! I would have yelled at him and told him I AM DONE WITH THIS GYM and stormed out. Then I would have proceeded to tell everyone I encountered as I walked out of the office what had just happened and filed a complaint or something. Don’t JUDGE at a place where you’re trying to better yourself. SERIOUSLY.
    GiGi Eats Celebrities recently posted…Paris Hilton is Jealous of Spaghetti SquashMy Profile

    • LOL thanks for that awesome visual GiGi! LOL! I realize now that he is just a jerk desperate to make more money regardless of who he hurts in the process.

  23. I’m not sure if I would have had the grace and restraint to sit there and let him go on like that. Is there someone above him you could speak with and share your concerns about the conversation? Do they have an HR department with the gym? I know how expensive gym fees are but is it worth going in there every day wondering if this asshat is going to pull another stunt like this? I would start looking for another gym even before the contract is up.
    Anita recently posted…Right NowMy Profile

    • I wanted to hurt him for sure Anita! Unfortunately he IS the HR department, but if I have anything to say about it we won’t be speaking anymore.

  24. I agree with Lisa. That little convo was money motivated. He didn’t care about your progress. He should have never compared you to anyone else. I would have been offended…so I don’t think your reaction was too sensitive. They knew you were getting once a month when they agreed to it, so what’s the big deal? The nerves of them…smh
    Hope recently posted…Bye-bye aftercare, hello car-lineMy Profile

  25. Oh yes! He was TOTALLY out of line and I don’t agree with what he did not one bit! If I were you, I would definitley transfer to another gym and definitely not reinstate that PT contract after it expires! That was really inappropriate and VERY rude!
    Britton recently posted…6 Black Friday Survival TipsMy Profile

  26. Joey "The Hubby" says:

    You should’ve pulled a Teresa like in your clip. He’s a jerk for making you feel that way. I am proud of you and the weight loss accomplishments you have had. I think you’re beautiful, sexy, and….all that and a bag of chips (gluten free, low sodium, 1/2 the calories, baked, etc. LOL). You get the point. I love you my lady, my love, my Queen. Keep pressing forward. You’re encouraging and inspiring.

  27. “He” Really Tried It!!!

  28. This was so inappropriate of him and I would have cursed the ish out of him. He doesn’t know your story or journey and how far you have come. You are a Zumba instructor, you’re inspiring so many people, he needs to buzz off. What you do at the gym is none of his business as long as they are getting their monthly payment. Don’t let him steal your joy at all
    Cassie recently posted…How I Became a Happily Empowered Women – A Special Guest PostMy Profile

    • Cass, I know. It was so awful. I am so over this overselling mess. I just go into the gym and do me, I mean its my official me time! Whatever. Should be interesting when I see him next…

  29. Not sensitive at all! I think he was completely out of line. It seems to me it was a bit of a money grabbing talk. So sorry you had to listen to his crap.

  30. I am LIVID reading this. I know how amazing you are, how hard you work (yes, I need you to bottle some of the that energy, determination, and fierceness in a bottle so I can buy it!). I hate hate hate that this sales manager tried to pull some psycho Jedi Mind trick so you can buy more sessions. EVERY one is different and I am SO proud of your journey Nellie. I’m glad you stayed calm. Keep doing what you are doing–you are utterly fabulous in every way.

    • Thanks Lia, I am just going to keep pushing on regardless of what that idiot said. Thank you so much for your support!

  31. you are absolutely not being sensitive. this made me react with anger. how dare he try to upsell you? i really don’t like being attacked like that and to spend more money on top of it. my acupuncturist did something similar and was trying to get me to buy herbs on top of everything else and i did not want to do it. she kept pushing and pushing. i made the decision that if she brought it up one more time, i would drop her, no matter how much i liked her acupuncture.
    catherine gacad recently posted…Money Monday: Devastation in the PhilippinesMy Profile

  32. Not sensitive at all. Wow, the nerve of him. One thing I had to realize, was that at the end of the day, trainers and gyms are about the bottom line. They have sales objectives, and even quotas in some establishments. Some may genuinely care about your personal progress and goals, but, when you have someone comparing you to other members – that’s a sales tactic. And a dirty one, might I add. The fact that you even MADE it to the gym, to spin or dare I say it… get on a treadmill (I had a trainer chastise me for this, lol)… should’ve caused him to have and keep several seats.

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