Unwanted Commentary!

So the comments at almost nine months along are starting to become QUITE the annoyance.

Before I continue I would like to let everyone know that I am (very) aware of the following:

  • I do have a slight limp these days that may be considered a waddle
  • My belly IS poking out quite far and round (happens when there is a 5lb human inside)
  • I do look tired, (because I am, sleep ain’t easy these days)
  • I do still have a LONG way to go (not really, but people seems to like to say that for some reason)
  • I am extra sensitive (a little something called hormones created by a human being growing in my body)
  • No, I would not like an extra piece of cake. THANKS.

Maybe momnesia has blocked out this part of pregnancy for me, or perhaps I was so over the moon the first time around that I blocked out all the negativity, or didn’t mind the incessant comments…but oh boy, this time folks are just yakkity yakkity all day long.

For example: My best friend and I work in the same place, and she walked me to get some lunch the other day. I was wearing a top similar to this one:

I felt quite cute in this top, my makeup was on point and I was having a good day…

A co-worker of ours, (let’s just call him NUMNUT for the sake of anonymity) saw us in the elevator lobby.

Me: Hi Numnut!

Numnut: Aren’t you NOT supposed to wear stripes?

Me: Say what?

Numnut: (chuckles) Stripes make you look so much bigger.

Me: (stunned, numnut isn’t usually so insensitive, and has a wife and children of his own…) I thought it was the other way around? Vertical stripes tend to make you look bigger? Maybe I had it confused?

Numnut: NO NO, I’m pretty sure that horizontal stripes make you look way bigger, which wouldn’t do much for you and your situation…

Me: Have a nice lunch!!!

At this point the bestie was stunned. She wondered how I didn’t curse him out or get angry. I let her know that this is my life daily. Before the 20 minutes of us getting lunch was all over, she witnessed 4 more insulting comments (intentional or not) and she couldn’t believe it.

This made me think of people with true disabilities, disfigurements. I only look like this for 10 months, then I get to work my butt off to get back to normal. There are folks who live with permanent issues that people make fun of, either consciously or unconsciously which is just horrendous.

Like all of our mamas say, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all! People have real feelings, and some people think it’s okay to just say whatever comes to mind. Even close friends can offend each other, it is a matter of *thinking* about what we are going to say, before we say it. Words are so powerful. I feel as if I have a pretty strong exterior and tough skin, but some folks do not, and there is only so much they can take.

{Sidebar: I have threatened to lock myself in my house after my baby shower to avoid any.more.comments until the baby is born. Just as a precaution!}

Here are some of the comments I would LOVE to hear when I get back from maternity leave:

  • GIRL! You look amazing.
  • It’s like you weren’t even pregnant.
  • I’m so jealous that you can go have your second child and come back looking better than before!

Truth be told, the negative comments are my motivation. It will make me work harder to get towards my goal of pre-pregnancy weight. Sometimes, on a bad day, it can hurt…but I think the key is to not let it sink in…not let it enter your psyche. Get the dirt off your shoulder as Jay-Z would say, and keep your head held high!

Here is a couple of wonderful blog posts that expresses exactly how I feel:
How to Annoy The Pregnant Woman
Annoying things that people say to pregnant women

How do you deal with insensitive comments?

Nellie

Nellie

Mommy. Fitness Addict. Socialite.
Schnelle "Nellie" Acevedo is a busy mom of two young boys (2 and 5), she is a career woman by day and a self proclaimed fitness junkie by night. Brooklyn Active Mama is  a positive community that focuses on demonstrating to all women that you can always find time for fitness. She features a Weekly Wednesday Workout and a Friday Fitness Check-in series where she encourages her readers to check in and remain accountable for their fitness and nutrition goals weekly. Nellie also is a co-founder of the annual A Healthy U Conference which is a conference dedicated to helping women improve their mental, spiritual and physical health. In addition to getting in the gym 5 times weekly, Nellie is a licensed Zumba instructor in Brooklyn. Since beginning to blog Nellie has lost 27lbs (and counting)! You can find Nellie on TwitterInstagramFacebookPinterest, & Google Plus.
Nellie
Nellie

Comments

  1. i have to admit, you have some type of control! i’m impressed! he would have walked away in tears, seriously. i’ve never been pregnant so i can’t relate or tell you that it will get better and people are just blah, blah, blah but i do know that as an adult we just know what we can or cannot say. it boggles me that some people don’t know at that point in their life. what a shame. and it makes me sad when i think of those with disabilities who have to deal with that everyday of their life because of people who truly have no class.

  2. Singlemothersjourney says:

    It’s crazy how people can be so insensitive and it’s even worst when they don’t even realize it. It just says a lot about them. I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I always give great comments and compliments. I like the point that you made about only having to go through this for 10 months and you can go right back but others who have certain disfigurements or disabilities aren’t able to do so. People are just heartless and rude when it comes to passing judgements on others. I had a homeless man speak to me one day and I spoke back kindly. He thanked me for that because he said so many people are rude to him and give him dirty looks because of how he looks, but he’s just like everyone else. We must be aware how we treat people and I always say treat people the way you want to be treated.

  3. sinfulsundays says:

    Woah. Are people really that rude nowadays? I don’t know if I would ever be able to held my composure like you did if someone said that to me in my last months of pregnancy. Good for you for being the better person!

  4. i got rude comments too when i was pregnant! it stunned me! i chalked it up to the people being stupid..but it still pissed me off!! and after the indirect insults, they’d touch my belly. seriously!? try to ignore those insensitive a-holes… :) you are handling it way better than i did!!

  5. This cracked me the heck up. You’ve got some restraint girl!!!

  6. How rude.. ppl can be so mean and insensitive sometimes.. ironically I wrote about this earlier… Don’t let ppl ruin your day with negative comments like this.. You are beautiful… !!! Enjoy your belly!!!

  7. oh yes – i forgot about the comments. ugh! I can’t believe NUMNUT had the nerve to think he was being funny. My mouth is way too smart sometimes – I know I would have said something mean to his behind. You might have to start checking some folks! LOL! You have the right attitude though. Just brush it off. :)

  8. I think NUMNUT is just clueless and lacks sensitivity. I didn’t really have problem with negative comments EXCEPT for a lady at church insisted that I looked nothing like the “girl” she met prior to seeing me again later in pregnancy. It would have been fine if she had just left it at that, but she went on and on about it. AND then began pulling people over to confirm that I really was the same person…… I couldn’t believe it.

  9. Lorettathomas479 says:

    This was really way too far…what an idiot! The nerve of some folk… Insensitive folk really irk me! Hello Nellie, I’m searching google this eve and found you…I love your blog, and I’m now a new follower! Please stop by and visit us and become our follower too…I would love having you there! I’m taking a little time off, but don’t let that stop you from joining us! We love having fun and welcome your creative you! Have a great evening.
    Take care, Hugs, Loretta

  10. Thank Loretta for the comments, I will be sure to check out your blog!

  11. I hate when people go on and on without even realizing the madness coming out of their mouths! I’d be stunned if that happened to me too, because clearly I am the same person!

  12. LoL I know there isn’t but so much a girl can take. I simply didn’t say anything out of workplace etiquette. If we were on the street…well… :)

  13. Seems to be happening everywhere! Thanks so much for the kind words.

  14. Man, it took everything I had.

  15. Right?! Like saying a mean thing wasn’t enough, they must violate your private space too! morons.

  16. Thank you :) Composure is dwindling by the second. LOL

  17. Its unbelieveable, and it unfortunately is a trend, and it is even worse ONLINE. smh. I know everyone has an opinion but must we share with everyone? I think not.

  18. Exactly right Faith, I only was nice out of workplace etiquette, but I do know some of my freinds that would have ripped him a new one! lol

  19. Oooh that would get on my nerves like there is no tommorrow…there is a lady at work that is pregnant right now and so women just don’t have any tact…she was like: “oh gurl you are blowing up!” i mean that’s just not cute…i hope you take it in strides!!

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