I totally had an awesome Friday Fitness Check-in for you but then I read a couple of blog posts yesterday that inspired me to write my own in response.
First Carla wrote an amazing blog post entitled Two steps to a bathing suite body!. After I read that post I felt so empowered. I wanted to run to the nearest beach, find me a two piece and wear it in all of my glory.
Then Roni posted her response Are 2 Steps Really All You Need to Get That Bathing Suit Body? which promptly brought me back to why I haven’t worn a two piece in years (7 years to be exact)… Her post spoke to the vulnerable side of me, the side that would never even think to buy a two piece swimsuit no matter how cute it was.
My last bikini…
My husband proposed to me when I was 22 (remember we started dating when I was 15). Like most women I decided immediately that not only was I going to lose weight, I was going to look amazing on my honeymoon too. I succeeded. I lost over 40 pounds in 2 years and made it to my honeymoon with a smoking hot body to flaunt!
Our honeymoon consisted of a 7 day western Caribbean Cruise plus an additional 4 days in Puerto Rico. Inside of my suitcase was the teeniest tiniest string bikini with the flag of Jamaica all over it. I wore this bikini when we visited the volcanic mud baths in Dominica. I had never felt so incredibly comfortable in my skin.
10 months later I got pregnant with my firstborn and the rest is history. I’ve been on several vacations since and have never felt comfortable enough to wear a two piece.
I often envy women that can put on a skimpy bathing suit and not bat an eye. For me personally, I haven’t purchased a bathing suit since my honeymoon. I use the conservative ones that I purchased, usually all black and very much covering ALL. I’ve seen some amazing swimsuits in H&M but I have never felt that my body was where it needed to be.
For a moment though, Carla let me forget about the where it needed to be part, and helped me to remember that it’s my body. Life is too short not to wear whatever the heck I want to wear on the beach. It was then that I realized that it’s not so much how I look now but really it’s the lack of confidence that is missing from this equation.
My blazing hot “I can wear whatever I want because I am SEGSY” confidence was unlimited on my honeymoon. It is a stark contrast to now where my favorite part of (window) swimsuit shopping is what is the prettiest cover up I can find?
Now that Spring is here I have made a vow to go to *real* beaches this year. Last year I didn’t see a real beach. Not one. Did not being wanted to be seen in a swimsuit contribute to that? Possibly.
What can I do to regain this confidence?
1. ACCEPT MY BODY – whether I remain at this size, get smaller or even gain weight — I need to accept and love what I am working with.
2. BUY A SEGSY SWIMSUIT – whether it’s a really segsy one piece or a bikini. I’m going to buy one. A suit that is perfect for ME! I’m going to shut off all the naysayers that exist in my head and I’m going to wear it. Proudly.
3. STOP STRIVING TOWARDS PERFECT – I need to stop waiting until I have the perfect body to wear swimsuits. I didn’t wait to have the perfect body to start teaching Zumba and this falls in the same boat.
I need to dig deep and find the old me, the one that gives no cares. I just need to be me in all my swimsuit glory.